Tag Archive: life as I know it


”….I don’t want to rob banks for the rest of my life.” —— Billy Bob Thornton~~Bandits

Routine……….now there’s a good concept, and in truth it’s not all that far removed from normal.  If you are unable to achieve “normal”, then routine could indeed be something to strive for.  You’re thinking you have a plan that can carry you through the day, and that you are probably in pretty good shape—and this may be the case, as long as something doesn’t happen to upset it.   You can be perking right along enjoying your usual life and not even realize what a great job you are doing on your daily “routine”, when WHAM somebody or something comes along and throws a monkey-wrench into your system and brings everything to a screeching halt.

It doesn’t matter that you  have been just as happy as that proverbial clam and minding your own business, because the beings that exercise the real power over these activities have very little shame.  “They” show no remorse, and even less compassion when it comes to the people who are unwittingly pursuing what (to most) would be thought of as a routine, possibly uneventful day.

If you ask me, the gods (or demons, as the case may be) of “normal” and “routine” apparently relish conspiring to disrupt the very acts for which they are responsible.  They might be feeling taken for granted or like they’re being ignored or something, but it’s as if the interruption is their means of reminding you just how very good you do indeed, have it.  Some of us recover from these interruptions more easily than others and are able to comfortably slide back into our happy little routines without missing more than a beat or two, however there are those of us who find it extremely difficult to get things back on an even keel.  In fact, sometimes it ends up being necessary to complete the circle in order to get there.

I firmly believe that there are those who not only take some kind of perverse pleasure in this inconvenience, but also feel the need to spread the misery around and foist their woes upon any innocent bystanders who are close at hand.  Having things turned upside down simply seems to be a way of life for some people.  It is as if these types of people most likely wouldn’t know what to do with a “routine” day if they had one, much less understand what an envied position they  truly occupy.  Having things go too smoothly can put some so far out of their comfort zone that they are absolutely compelled to foul things up as quickly as possible in order to get back to their own version of life as they know it, wreaking havoc on anything that gets in their way while they obliviously go about their madness……..and THAT is their routine!

As for me, I get up early, pour some coffee, and water the yard I’ve been trying to revive before the day gets too hot.  Then I decide what I want or ought to do.  Sound boring, does it?  I guess it could be considered to be so, but since I really don’t have any choice in the matter right now…….I prefer to think of it as more like doing “stand-up”, and make what I can out of it.

It looks like there must be a hummingbird convention in town, and boy–are they a tough crowd to please…….A bunch of heavy drinkers, those hummers.  There are a few regulars–Englebert, Dinger, Afewbars, and Vee–and they all seem to think it’s okay to invite any number of friends to this watering-hole.  A veritable Open House Party, as it were.   “The more, the merrier” I guess.  It’s looking like I ought to add to my regular supply if this keeps up……..I’d probably better put out  a couple-a more wells for the greedy little bastards if I expect to keep the peace.  I wonder how this’ll look on my resume when the docs finally set me free?  Probably better than robbing banks would…………

Yup–all things considered,I kinda like my routine…..after all, somebody‘s gotta do it !!    ;]


“The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.”    —-Larry the Cable Guy

Disclaimer:  I use too many commas and parentheses, make up words when I deem necessary, and have a penchant for dots, dashes, and run-on sentences (among other moving violations).   I also tend to be a bit long-winded, but it seems to run in the family so it’s probably genetic and I can’t help it. If any of these are known to cause hives,  light-headedness, loud outbursts, or any other unpleasant reactions—just click out of here!!    Still here, huh?  The other thing about most of this schtuff is that what isn’t totally true is based on actual events……as I know ‘em……or at least think of ‘em……whatever.

In my life I have truly been blessed.  Somewhere in one of the  corners of my little mind I have always known this.   But, human nature being what it is I guess I let myself get distracted from time to time.  Over the years I know I have led a fairly interesting life. I’ve never really considered it to be particularly exciting or remarkable until I sit down and take a breath.  Time to take a breath.

In the past I have repeatedly found myself in the position of caregiver.  I have seen what is probably not the very worst, but some really bad shit happen over the years to various friends and family members concerning hospitals and health issues.  For whatever reason, I seem to keep running into some woman in the mirror who is in the middle of helping somebody in the throes of a health crisis.  When there are so many things going on and there doesn’t seem to be anybody else around to lend a hand, it’s like:  the genie wants the day off—aw what the heck,  she’s not doing anything right now.  She can handle things for the time being.  While I don’t really think it’s genetic, I do believe that it can be inherited.  Mine just happens to be both, having come from my mother.  That and my dimples.

How she ever managed to raise the seven of us, live up to the expectations of being my father’s wife, and still greet everyday with a smile on her face and a twinkle in her piercing blue eyes is one of the mysteries of time that will probably never be solved.  Nor should it.  Some jerk would just probably figure out a way to use it for evil, and that would be way too much power.  I blame her for my sense of humor and my Peter Pan/Pollyanna attitude, and I will always feel especially grateful for both.

I don’t think it really dawned on me until I had left the nest that there were other ways to be.  Don’t get me wrong, I did my share of rebelling and thinking my side of the lollypop had all of the fuzz on it, but silly me still thought that most people were basically happy with their lot in life…otherwise, why wouldn’t they do something to change it?  I always did.  Thanks, Mommy.

I didn’t begin to appreciate how unusual it was that my family all liked each other so well.  Not to say that we haven’t had our share of differences in many aspects of day-to-day stuff—but by golly we got along.  We weren’t hit or allowed to do so (at least when anyone who’d tell was looking), and the final outcome was never, ever supposed to leave hurt feelings.  Pretty simple rules, huh?  I can remember one day shortly after both of my folks had passed away, a bunch of my friends were sitting around one day discussing the phenomenon of my family.  Speculation early on was that we’d all be at each others’ throats fighting over the carrion of the parents’ almost sixty year old estate.  Are you kidding me?  Don’t you think for one NTH of a second that each and every one of us kids (AND spouses) weren’t sure that my mom‘d be back here in a heartbeat, forbidding us from behaving so badly toward one and other with Daddy standing there with his hand cupping his chin, looking over her left shoulder with that expression of amused wonder that he frequently wore when it came to her.

In addition to the great fortune of my relatives, I happened across a man from an equally agreeable family…..and I really liked him.  A lot.  So I did something I swore I’d never do again in this lifetime.  I married him.  While I realize that had anyone been making book on this the odds would have been somewhere in the range of “slim-to-none”, it did happen.  The both of us had been on our own for many years and certainly were not interested in dating anyone for any reason, but a mutual friend from beautiful Bandera, Texas got it into his head to get us together.  We finally met for a drink in our hometown (more to get this friend to find another hobby than anything else), and he’s been my one and only since shortly thereafter.

I’m not too sure exactly when it was that our friend realized he needed to make such a recommendation—most likely the fact that I had a seemingly endless supply of cold beer on hand at that time had something to do with it—but I am truly grateful for the tip.  If he were only as good at setting up his own bed as he was in setting up ours, he could probably bring about the advent of world peace.  Or at the very least cooperation……more’n likely it was just a matter of how hard Saturn’s outer rings were pulling on Uranus, now that I’m thinkln’ about it.

At any rate, I’m feeling a bit like that second mouse.  Life as I know it is by no stretch of the imagination perfect, but it’s pretty damned good when you take all things into account.  Now, if I could only come up with those winning lottery numbers……